My Process for Querying Literary Agents: Start with the Book Description
There is so much good advice on the internet and in books about querying literary agents. Sometimes, though, it helps to see how one writer goes about it.
That’s what I’m doing in this post—explaining my query process for my middle grade mystery.
I started by reading Get Signed: Find an Agent, Land a Book Deal, and Become a Published Author by Lucinda Halpern, a literary agent. Her advice is probably most helpful to adult writers of non-fiction, but she addresses fiction writers too. The part that I found most useful was how to write the description of my book that goes in the query letter.
Halpern advises reading and analyzing the descriptions of books on Amazon that are similar to yours, books that could be your comp titles.
For one of my comps, I’m using The Lost Library by Rebecca Stead and Wendy Mass, which was published in 2023. It has a mystery plot and talking animals and the story is told from multiple points of view—a boy, a cat, and an adult. Here’s the Amazon description (the same text is used on the hard cover novel’s front flap too):
When a mysterious little free library (guarded by a large orange cat) appears overnight in the small town of Martinville, eleven-year-old Evan plucks two weathered books from its shelves, never suspecting that his life is about to change.
Evan and his best friend Rafe quickly discover a link between one of the old books and a long-ago event that none of the grown-ups want to talk about. The two boys start asking questions whose answers will transform not only their own futures, but the town itself.
Told in turn by a ghost librarian named Al, an aging (but beautiful) cat named Mortimer, and Evan himself, The Lost Library is a timeless story from award-winning authors Rebecca Stead and Wendy Mass. It’s about owning your truth, choosing the life you want, and the power of a good book (and, of course, the librarian who gave it to you).
I used that description as a model. See a few of my attempts below.
Version 1
When the gray wolves at the Lake Gichigamiing Zoo are discovered to be suffering from lead poisoning, eleven-year-old Jazz immediately wants to discover how. Edgar, a captive raven who speaks some English, wants to know too.
Through separate investigations, Jazz and Edgar discover that someone’s been slowly poisoning the wolves deliberately. But who, how, and why? And who else may be in danger?
When Jazz’s zookeeper dad is suspected by the zoo director, Jazz sets out to find the true poisoner. She believes that Edgar knows more than he can say.
Told in turn by Jazz and Edgar, What the Raven Said: A Zoo Crew Mystery has a twisty plot that involves clever animals and adventurous kids. It’s about holding onto anger, learning how to forgive, and believing in yourself.
Version 2—higher stakes
When the gray wolves at the Lake Gichigamiing Zoo are discovered to be suffering from lead poisoning, the zookeeper’s daughter Jazz wants to know how it happened. Edgar, a captive raven new to the zoo, wants to know too.
Through separate investigations, Jazz and Edgar learn that someone’s been poisoning the wolves—deliberately. Jazz believes that Edgar, who speaks some English and lives next door to the wolves, knows more than he can say. When Edgar finds a dead goose and Jazz finds a dead zoo employee, they both fear the poisoner is upping their attacks.
Told in turns by Jazz and Edgar, What the Raven Said: A Zoo Crew Mystery has a twisty plot that involves clever animals and adventurous kids. It’s about holding onto anger, learning how to forgive, and believing in yourself.
I wrote a couple of different versions before sharing one with my Vermont College of Fine Arts classmates for some feedback. Then I revised a few more times.
Current version
I removed the last paragraph in order to tighten the description and focus on the plot. I changed the name of the zoo to make it clearer where the story takes place. I also made some other tweaks.
The three gray wolves at the Lake Superior Zoo are mysteriously ill. When 11-year-old Jazz, the zookeeper’s daughter, learns that they’re suffering from lead poisoning, she wants to know why. Edgar, a newly arrived and overly confident raven, wants to know too.
Through their separate investigations, Jazz and Edgar discover that the lead poisoning is no accident. Someone’s been poisoning the wolves deliberately. When Edgar finds a dead goose and Jazz finds a dead zoo employee, they both fear the poisoner is upping the attacks. If only Edgar could communicate what he knows and if only Jazz could understand him.
Does this version tell an agent enough about the story?
This version is 100 words long. My query letter runs about 200 words total.
That’s not much space to persuade someone to read your sample pages!
On the other hand, it’s probably enough for an agent to know if it’s not a good fit for them.
Time will tell.
Next time I’ll go into more detail about finding agents who seem like a good fit.